Thousand Foot Krutch!

[][]Another of Those Nights[][]

It's another of those nights when I'm full of emotion, but am unsure of why.

I'll just throw some stuff out here and then go to bed and maybe have a good cry.

I'm not happy with my life right now.

I'm amounting to nothing.

I sleep, school, eat, work and surf the web.

I hate it! And yet I can't get out of this cycle.

I'm thankful for life, family, God and all the things He blesses me with.

I just don't know where He's leading me or what He wants me to do.

I hate college. It's appealing in no way! But I cannot quit.

1) Because my family would kill me.

2) Because I couldn't get a positive start to a family life without it..most likely.

I'm STILL unhappy that I can't find some guy to hold my hand and help me through stuff.

It hurts.

I should rely more on God. I'm trying..

Right now I just feel like a failure.

And it doesn't help that my grandma is so totally unsupportive of my choice to move from home.

Blehh...I think I'm headed to bed now. That helped a lil...i got the tears started..heh heh.

God bless!

I'm Alive?!?!

.:Lastnight's Ramblings:.

It's 5:53am and I'm still awake.

I like skipping lines when I make notes because my thoughts are kinda broken up like these notes are.

I've decided that I like Ivoryline, Sullivan, Further Seems Forever and The Send.

I was thinking of my absense of earthly love again.

I have a friend who needs love and I feel so bad for him.

His heart has been ripped out one too many times, and it's affecting the way he lives his life.

For that one reason alone, I'm glad I havent experience love.

I'm not sure it's possible for me to find tha right guy, the first time.

I really want to though!

I hate Christian Chat!

It gives me glimpses of people that I would enjoy filling that void...but they aren't around.

I'm really, really picky about who I want to marry.

And I'll only date a person worth marrying.

Experimenting is not my thing.

It's hurtful.

I feel like dancing and singing tonight/this morning.

I dont have anyone to dance or sing with me.

I want to learn to slow dance.

If you play an instrument or can sing, I admire you.

If you refrain from harmful things that will hurt your body, I admire you.

If you've come out of a tough past and are living for God, I admire you.

If you are my friend, I admire you for being you, and for tolerating me.

I love big hoodies.

I love people.

I'm probably too trusting.

I wish people would take a second to break through my wall of shyness and talk to me.

I really do love God.

I'm nervous about the future of our country.

John showed me some things that don't look so promising.

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.

I love laughter. (To laugh or to make others laugh)

I have to work at 3pm.

I can't wait to see my dad after 6 months away.

I admire guys who aren't afraid to cry.

They make me happy on the inside.

I'm going to check my status comment from Marlisa, and attempt to sleep now.

...and by the way I hate caffiene.

January 6th

New Ted Dekker book called "Kiss" comes out!! I'm stoked!